Monday, February 26, 2007

A Must Read!

I have just finished reading a post by Kevin Wood the pastor at The Church at Trace Crossing in Tupelo, MS. His writing amazes me! This was moving. This was written for the first service in their new building.

Kevin had written another post in September as the church was just beginning that was so vivid. Take a moment a read this.

Friday, February 23, 2007

Food for thought

Please stop by and read this blog by Melissa Moore. What an amazing perspective this offers! It will definitely make you think about where you have placed your values and what consequence this has for you and for those involved.

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Simply Stated

In January I purchased two little saucer type sleds for our family. After all, we have lived here for almost two years and have not had the "luxury" of sleds until now. Since the purchase of these little sleds, it has snowed several times, but never enough to be able to use said items. Until this weekend! Saturday night it snowed...not a lot, but enough to enjoy our new toys.

After breakfast, I bundled the children up and out we went. The girls were exuberant to finally be able to sled. The first hill we tried was a little steep. Hazel barely made it all the way to the top and Emilly and I well barely made any progress. When all seemed futile, I put Emilly on a sled and sent her down what little progress we had made. I slid down on my hands and knees backwards as I lost my footing.

So, we tried another hill. VIOLA! The sledding began. With my husband in place at the bottom of the hill to catch whomever came down, we commenced with the fun. (for if we were to keep going we would have propelled ourselves over the embankment) Let me tell you...those little saucers fly. The girls finally talked their dad into taking them down together. So, Thom layed down and the girls sat on his stomach. TOO FUNNY! They had a blast.

The snow did not last the day, but we had a great time while it lasted.

Today as we headed out to an appointment, Hazel asked what the white dusty stuff was on our car. I explained that it was salt that had been placed on the road to melt the snow and ice. She so sweetly asked, "Salt and pepper, Mommy?"

Friday, February 16, 2007

You Are Loved

February 17, 1987, I do not remember where I was that day or what I was doing. Nor did I know that my son had been born on that day. At barely sixteen, what could you really expect? It would be more than a decade before we would actually meet.

Our first meeting happened in February 1998 at McDonald's. You were precious. Small for your age with the largest brown eyes, I was head over heals for you the moment I saw you. You didn't have much to say that night...our meeting was awkward. You probably felt that every movement you made was being scrutinized. I was afraid you would not like me...that somehow I would not measure up to what you wanted in a new mommy. After all, you loved the one you had had so deeply.

Things worked out. We all agreed it was worth our best shot. So, that is what we did. We were and are so proud to call you "ours". A priceless treasure from heaven. You have grown into a strong and handsome man. I love that when people see us together, they always think that you belong by birth. What they don't realize is that we have something better than that! We belong by choice. I would choose you again. Hope you would say the same!

For your birthday I want to tell you are loved beyond measure. I pray that you will allow God to have complete control over your life. He is faithful. Trust Him even when you have nothing within you to trust with.

Mike, I love you!

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Praying for Ashley

Tonight I found out that sweet little Ashley has cancer. My heart is overwhelmed with sadness. What a tough road this little one has traveled! And now the road seems even longer.

Trish, Ashley's mom, has been by her side through it all. Her faith in God is strong. Since I began reading Ashley's journal last year, I have come to love Trish and Ashley. They have become a part of my family each day. Each morning and evening I check in to see how they are doing. Sometimes I check through out the day.

Please join me and many people in the blogging community as we pray for Ashley, Trish and the rest of the family. If you have a moment, stop by and leave Trish a comment and let her know that you are praying for her.

Friday, February 09, 2007

Deja Vu

Brianna Elijah Zane

Seven years ago next month, my world was shattered. DSS arrived at my house unannounced. They explained to me that the three foster children we had would be moved from our care on March 15.

I do not remember seeing it coming. If I did, I did not recognize it for what it was. My husband who was in the service had been transferred out of state. I had stayed in our home awaiting the final approval for all of our family to move to be with my husband. We had had one of these siblings for over three years and the other two siblings we had had over a year. These children were all going to be up for adoption soon. There was a no reconciliation plan for all of them. No parental visits had taken place in years. Nothing but the adoption to begin. Our worker had assured us it would be approved.

Our petition was denied. They decided to try for reunification with their biological family. The children would be moving to live with a foster family whom we knew and liked. I knew the children would be loved and cared for, but it was not ok. They were my children. We were suppose to be forever!

On March 15, we took the children to live with their new family. The kids did not understand at that moment that it was forever. They had known this family and come to love them. It was more like a visit for them.

Saying goodbye that night was devastating. I do not remember how we got home that night or what the next few days were like. Leaving that home and driving north felt like my heart was being pulled in two directions. My heart desired to be with my husband who had returned to our new home and the other to my children whom I had left forever.

These children are still in my heart. I will always consider Elijah, Brianna and Zane to be my children. My heart can see them no other way. Zane, whom we had for over three years, was one of the most amazing "through the fire" stories that can ever be told. Elijah had an honest heart. Brianna was the external sign of all the internal abuse that they had endured in their short lives. I love them all so much!

Zane was a sweet blessing from God. You see Zane was born on February 21, 1996. On February 20, 1996 I had lost my child. Zane reminded me that God closes one door and opens another. Zane was a sweet balm that soothed my wounded soul. I need Zane as much as he needed me.

So, as you can see, my heart is a little sensitive about the dates February 20, 21 and March 15. It is filled with joy on one hand and much sadness on the other.
On March 15, 2007, we will be back in court. This is the day that we will find out if our girls will be staying with us or going to live in Florida. I have tried not to acknowledge that the days are the same or that it could be deja vu. It is not a superstition but just a memory of something that forever changed my life.
It reminds me of the song by Casting Crowns, Praise You in This Storm.
And I'll praise you in this storm and I will lift my hands for You are who You are no matter where I am and every tear I've cried You hold in your hand You never left my side and though my heart is torn I will praise You in this storm
Today God, I will praise you in this storm. The waves are crashing all around me, but I will not be swallowed up. I will lift my hands in praise to the God who made the waves. Lift me up! Let me see your face...let me know that you have not forgotten my family. As Hazel says so often, "I NEED MY GOD!" I need my family and they need me! Please do not allow a judge to separate us. I will trust you to keep us safe. I love you, God! Bless and protect Elijah, Brianna and Zane as only you can. Heal their hearts, Lord. They have suffered so much. May their lives be a witness of the greatness of their God!

Tuesday, February 06, 2007


OH.MY.GOODNESS! To be as beautiful as those around me!

Monday, February 05, 2007

Have I lost my mind?

I love to start new projects! LOVE IT! So, it was nothing new when a while ago I decided to change the look of our cabinets. I wanted to stain them either a dark espresso or ebony. Well, after looking at our choices, my husband choose ebony. We purchased all the new toys it would take to make this little project work.

Now due to the fact that I have two little girls it has made progress on this project...well, let's just say a little slow. The whole stain thing did not work. After many attempts to make it work, we realized that we would have to completely strip all of the wood to succeed. NO.THANK.YOU! So, we decided to paint them instead. We decided on black.

Let me interrupt all of this by saying that I love it! It really sets things apart. We had a small concern about darkness and all, but it is really crisp looking.

Now we are far from being done, but I am even more excited about this than when I began. It takes a little age off of our 40+ year old cabinets.

While focusing so diligently on this project something in me decided it is time to potty train Emilly. So, I am refusing to buy diapers. What exactly am I thinking?

So, each time I pick up the sander, Emilly either needs to potty or stands beside me and wets her pants. Nice, isn't' it? The issue is that I cannot always hear her over the sander. I mean once you are holding a power tool in your hand something takes over. It is such an amazing rush of...of...well, power!

The moral of the story is do not try to huge projects at one time.(especially one involving personal body fluids that I am still responsible for) It makes both processes rather difficult. Why is it that I choose huge task in multiples? On the other hand won't it be great when both are done!

Saturday, February 03, 2007

My lover is mine and I am his

Check this out!

Friday, February 02, 2007

Welcome to Bloggityville

If you have a moment stop by a welcome Debbie! She has resisted joining the blog world until today. Glad you could join us, Deb! I love you.