Walking By Faith

In early September, I will begin teaching a women's Bible study by Jennifer Rothschild called Walking By Faith: Lessons Learned in the Dark. It is exciting to be able to walk with my sisters in Christ through studies like this. God reveals so many things to each of us in our own personal language. While the revelation may be the similar, the application to each person is always unique. What a joy to see God in a different light! He is so much more than I can or ever will imagine.

This past week has been one trial after another. I expected it. When teaching on faith, Satan will surely do all he can to lessen the efficacy of the message. This time of testing has hit one of the most tender places in my heart...it involves my children.

We found out that there is a chance for the girls to be given to a relative. Our court hearing this month will be a fight to keep these precious girls from going to an unsafe place. We like all the other members of our team believed their was no possible way for this to happen, but it has. Fear is a constant companion, but I am trying to continually lay it down at the feet of God.

Please pray for and with us. We are desperate for God to intercede on the behalf of these girls. Their safety is in danger. God is our hope and answer.

Abba, Father, I know that you are not surprised or shaken by the news we received. You knew before the creation of the world what would happen to these children. Forgive my unbelief. Help me to believe, to rest in You, to lay it all down and let You work as only You can. God, I am scared for Hazel and Emilly and our family.

Lord, let truth be revealed in every situation regarding these children and each family member. Open the judges eyes and mind! Give him wisdom and understanding to make the best decision for these children. For each therapist, GAL, social worker, biological family member and anyone else who will sit on that stand, let only complete truth pour out of their mouths. Give the attornies the questions that will shine a light on the dangers of this placement. For each piece of information that has been or will be entered regarding the safety and wellbeing of these children, let it jump off the page! Let not one piece of evidence be overlooked. Thank you, God, for loving Hazel and Emilly more than I do. I love you!

Monk & Neagle

Check out this video by Monk & Neagle. Their album will be out in September. I am crazy about The Twenty-First Time and Hallelujah Jesus.

Letting Go And Letting God

This morning as I read a post by Sarah, I saw in
myself the controlling person I do not want to be. My mind has wanted to manipulate things to be how I feel they should be with little or no thought as to God's will.

You see Hazel is going to school in August. She is excited. Daily she talks about her new school, new friends and learning to read. Even people we pass in the store know that this precious little girl is going to school.

This is not a joy that I have shared with her. The thought of her going and spending and entire day with a group of people I do not know strikes fear and desperation deep within my heart. She is so young, naive, tenderhearted, and wounded. Trusting her to someone else...allowing them to lead her in her daily walk...have mercy, Lord! I do not think I can stand it! Someone else will be spending more time with her than I will.

Then there is the ever growing fear that plagues my mind to its core. What if they are mean to her? Little girls, children really, can be so catty and unkind. She has been hurt enough for at least three lifetimes. Can her heart bear anymore?

Lord, how do I step back and trust that you are walking with her? You know each step that she will take, and how each trial will bring glory to Your name. How do I walk with her and guide her, and, yet, not control? How will my heart not shrivel and die or become enraged when someone speaks or acts unkind to her? She is so fragile emotionally. Hazel brings out my extreme emotions, Lord. She is brightest of joy, the loudest of laughter, and darkest valley. Will I trust You with with her heart and mine?

Look on Hazel with favor as she goes off to school. Guard her heart and mind against those things which are not pure or those things which would cause her pain. Give her courage to try new things. Burn in her heart the desire to be more like You and less like me.

Thank you, God, for the gift of Hazel. She is so precious, and I adore her. There is nothing in my life that is deserving to be called her mother, but through your mercy you made it so. You have, are and will heal so many hurts in her.

Help me trust You one day at a time. I love you, Father!

Today is the National Day of Prayer. A day to intercede on behalf of our country, government, church and anything else that God should lay on your heart.

My prayers will also be for Heather and her family. Heather is a wife and mother. She is an outstanding woman of faith. Several weeks ago she was diagnosed with a malignant brain tumor. Today she is at the Mayo clinic. Heather will be having surgery to remove this tumor. There are so many risk in this surgery, but there is so much to be gained if it is successful. Please keep her in your prayers today. This next week will be difficult. Pray also for her husband, Mark, and her children, Elijah, Easton and Emma Grace.

I Thought I Had Heard It All

Potty training with Emilly has not proven to be one of my finer moments. She can leave me completely frustrated as we get so close only to have a string of accidents. It seems that we have been working on this forever!

This past month has proven much better than oh say...the last 5 in the potty training department. We have even gone so far as to wear panties to bed with no accidents! Emilly has also been able to go to the bathroom without needing help. YEAH!

Today she went to potty and came back and proceeded to tell me that the stuff in her panties was not poop but chocolate. Every red flag in my head that was available went up . After investigating the situation a little closer, I discovered that it was indeed poop and not chocolate. Emilly claims that she pooped in the potty. I have scoured the house in search of any escapees, but, alas, have found none. My praise must be this, I even checked her mouth (she did call it chocolate) and there was no evidence found there either!

A Smiling Tree Frog

(Luna in our rhodendron in the summer of 2005)

Today was one of those days I would have rather slept through. Most people will not even begin to understand what the deal is, but to me it was a big deal. It was a loss that I was not prepared for.

When I woke this morning, I realized that my frog, Luna, was not well. She had not been herself in a few days, but today I knew that something needed to be done to relieve her suffering. There is so little that can be done medically to treat a frog. So, when they are ill there is only one choice.

It was not a moment I would want to do over again. It is better left in the past. Luna is peacefully resting now. Jazz, her companion, for the past 7 years is now alone. Our home is minus one smiling frog. But our lives have been enriched through having a little frog named Luna.

On A Lighter Note

Emilly is our youngest at two. The older she gets the funnier she gets. A year ago she was the most serious person you would have ever met. Today...well, it is difficult to get her to be serious even for a moment.

Last night as I was getting the girls ready for bed, I told Emilly to straighten up her room. She immediately burst into tears. "I don't want to!" she exclaimed. I simply explained to her that wanting to was not required. She needed to get it done or she would have a consequence. Let's just say that she ended up with a consequence. When she had finished her consequence she came back to her room to clean, and she looked up at me with those huge gray eyes. And then spoke as evenly as if she had rehearsed it and said, "I'm still not happy."

I about fell over trying not to laugh. She is just so funny. Sometimes I am sure she knows it and other times I don't think she has a clue. Life is going to be filled with lots of funny moments with this child around.